Once upon a time, there was a Gonk. Let's call him Adam.
You can follow his journey, going through trials and explorations before finally becoming Santa. Along this journey you will find FREE crochet patterns for Gonk clothing and accessories to complement the original Santa Gonk pattern which can be purchased
The Journey Continues
Adam Gonk entered the world with nothing but a fig leaf. He needed to find food, warmth and safe place to rest. Adam fashioned a club out of a fallen branch to hunt with and even had enough wood left to carve out some crochet hooks. With the hooks he crocheted himself outfits following the classic isometric one shoulder design. Adam found a home amongst the mountains and quickly became known to others as Caveman Gonk.
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I have designed Gonk accessories to fit over the original Gonk body design.
All clothing and accessories are designed to be interchangeable so that you do not need to keep making the Gonks.
Of course, you could choose to make a Gonk for each outfit, adjusting body colours to suit. I will give guidance on doing so to match each outfit.
I have made my Gonk using Bulky/UK Chunky weight yarn. My accessories have also been made using Bulky/UK Chunky yarn or 2 strands of DK for the equivalent yarn weight, allowing me to mix colours for different effects.
You can make your Gonk using any yarn weight, just keep to the same yarn weight when making your accessories to keep to the right size scale.
Adam soon grew tired of being cooped up in his primitive cave. He decided to explore the neighbouring lands, in search of the unknown. On his travels through the savanna, he stumbled upon a group of straw huts. He was curious of what he might find, with caution he raised his club before peering inside. He was met with a colourful flying object striking his arm and then blackness. When he came to, he realised it was a poisoned dart which had floored him. He was surrounded by laughing faces, a hand reached out to help him upright. The tribesmen took to Adam, and invited him to stay. They gave him a traditional welcome, throwing a dance party and feast. The Chief of the tribe gifted him a tribal mask, an item of high honour. The tribesmen told great stories of their ancestors and of how they came to be in the savanna. Adam was fascinated by them and was proud to become Tribal Gonk.
Paintbox Yarns Simply Chunky
available at LoveCrochet.com
The Tribesmen spoke of the great Big Blue. Their ancestors used to live by it, living a rich life from all it provided them. The tribe has not seen the Big Blue for many generations as it became a dangerous place, reasons of which they do not speak of. It is all but legend to their young. These stories only piqued Adam's curiosity. He bid farewell to the tribe and went in search of the Big Blue. Adam walked for many months, not knowing how far he needed to go, or what to look for. He just knew, he would know when he finds it. After seeing the same scenery for miles and miles, Adam questioned himself, had he been walking in circles? Then he finally saw something different, out in the distance, it was the Big Blue! On approaching, he saw a marvellous vessel, and went to enquire.
"Who are you and what is this splendid construction you have here?"
"Cap'n Jack be me name, 'tis ar Pirate Ship, matey! We travel th' seven seas 'n hunt fer treasure"
"Would I be able to join you on your ventures please?"
"What do ye 'ave to offer us?"
"I don't have much to offer, this is my only possession, a mask given to me by the Chief "
Adam held out his mask for the Captain to see. At first, Captain Jack laughed at his pitiful offering, but on closer inspection saw that the mask was in fact encrusted with precious jewels.
"Never mind that matey, hop aboard! I'll keep that safe fer ye"
And with that, Adam became Pirate Gonk.
Adam soon came to realise that these Pirates were not very nice people. Instead of hunting for treasure as they said, they were just taking treasure from others! He didn't think this was very fair and it made him question if he would ever get his beloved tribal mask back. Adam voiced his opinions, one night, in conversation with Captain Jack. This did not go well. The Pirates stripped Adam of everything he had and made him walk the plank. Adam never had any experience with swimming but, luckily, it turns out that Gonks are extremely buoyant. He bobbed in the ocean for a while, pondering on what the black pointy thing moving around in the water was, then suddenly all he saw were sharp teeth! He yelled for help and felt himself being tugged away. He happened to get himself caught up in a fishing net which was conveniently being trawled in at the perfect moment. The fishermen came to Adam's rescue, cutting his long tangled hair to free him from the net. They provided him with a waterproof suit and welcomed him. Adam repaid their kindness by offering his services. He learnt how to trawl, sort the fish, and soon enough he became Fisherman Gonk.
Deep within the forest a bird sounded an alarm. It was the first sign that there was trouble coming. The animals that could fly, flew, and those that could run, ran. When the dark cloud finally cast its burdensome shadow upon the horizon, they that could flee, had.
The river led the fishing boat into the heart of the forest. The river caused the boat to shake as it gave bumpy path to their escape. The wind, surely agitated, tussled to and fro. All of the external forces of the earth were tormented.
Obeying his inner instinct Adam clung to the craft.
He watched as the Pirates lifted a cannonball. He watched as they aimed the cannon. He heard the bang that signalled the beginning of his end.
Adam drew in a shallow breath and waited. His senses heightened causing time to appear to lose its grip on future events. In this moment Adam knew a truth.
As the cannonball continued to lessen the distance, a great scream was heard from beyond the northern forest. A light pierced the darkness and banished the crosswind. The cannonball soared across the vessel, never finding its mark.
The air momentarily calmed, as if by the light that emitted from the northern mountain. The winds, and current beneath, were instructed to turn on themselves. They began to circle at speed, causing momentum until a whirlpool was constructed. Quickly, the Pirate ship was caught up in the unnatural tornado. In hast, it was swept back to the sea. A whisper in their ears repeated one warning, "Do not return here for sake of your future, that ye might have one".
Adam and the Fishermen disembarked, fleeing into the trees.
Soon the darkness had left the place, and the Fisherman bid their farewells.
Adam turned to the mountain and began climbing its summit to find his hero.
At the mountain peak Adam met The Wizard Of The Forest. He thanked the Wizard for saving his life and offered his services in return.
The Wizard explained that he was in need of an apprentice. He offered the role to Adam, adding that no experience was necessary as all training would be provided. He explained that the powers of the Staff only worked within the Magic Forest. The Wizard was eager to point out that, with an apprentice, he could finally take the holiday time he had built up over the last century; about one month.
Adam agreed and became The Apprentice To The Wizard Of The Forest.
Six months later Adam completed his apprenticeship. He was given a certificate and The Wizard took his well earned holiday. Adam had become The Wizard Gonk.
Adam collected twigs then took a vine and tied them all together, fashioning a broom. Then he wielded his staff and caused a boulder to lift clear off the ground. Finally, he thought, I am mastering the power I have been given. Adam used his free hand to sweep burnt ash under the boulder. Just as he did, a gust blew the ash away. Looking up he saw The Wizard of the Forest floating towards him. "Good holiday?" he enquired.
"What have you done?!" bellowed the great Wizard.
"It was like this when I found it" cried Adam.
The great Wizard shook his head. "You have burnt down the forest and it will take me years to remake it. Since you like breaking things you can go and spend some time with my friends, the mining Dwarfs".
The Wizard introduced Adam to the Dwarfs and they welcomed him to their number. He became Dwarf Gonk.
Adam was struck by the magnitude of their achievement, "all those yellow stones" he muttered. Once the gold was loaded onto the cart Adam was instructed to deliver it to the Castle: "Just follow the path to the east, they'll be expecting you at the south gate".
Adam set off and was soon deep in conversation with his horse.
"Biscuit, I'm not saying I haven't enjoyed my time, but my forearms ache... My forearms!" reasoned Adam. He continued, "My entire body is screaming in agony, from head to toe. Every time you hit a rock it feels like I ran head first into a tree! I'd thank you kindly if you'd take that into consideration should objects appear in our path again...".
ONE HOUR LATER...
"...I have soil and dirt everywhere, my eyes hurt in the sunlight and I think I sprained my left ankle" explained Adam. "Look sharp Biscuit, we're here" he said.
After delivering the gold Adam took the opportunity to explore the Castle. He noticed a queue of people and asked them what they were doing. They were applying to become Knights. He looked across the courtyard and saw a Knight on guard, standing proud in gleaming armour. "Now that's a job I could do" he thought. With that he joined the queue. The judging panel were impressed with Adam's axe swinging demonstration and offered him the position. Adam became Knight Gonk.
Adam kicked a rock "Around and around I go, one side to the other" he complained.
"Rustling in the woods! I had better investigate" he said.
Adam took up his sword and made his way beyond the forest dimly lit by the castle's light.
"Good sir, unburden yourself of your worldly goods. I shall take keep and will soon be gone" directed a voice from the shadows.
"I have no goods, just my uniform" replied Adam. He added, "I still haven't paid them off. What do you need them for? You want to work here too?".
The voice responded "I want not your chosen labour. I take from thee that I might give to the poor, for I am Robin Hood of..". Adam interrupted, "I'd like to help the poor".
Robin Hood let the string of his bow ease back, "I can see you are not wealthy" he said.
"OK, follow me if you want to help, if not I bid thee farewell" said Robin Hood.
At the camp Robin gave Adam a spare outfit, "Here, put these on, you will not stand out in them. -well, not as much" he explained.
Adam donned the outfit and in doing so became Robin Gonk.
A new sun rose and Adam smiled as he felt its warmth on his skin.
Adam and Robin Hood set off to help the residents of the country side.
Robin explained "I recycle liberated coins in their favour. They reconstitute them when they pay taxes, at which point I un-constitute the coin, and once liberated I give them back to the people, who in turn, reconstitute them, and then I... well, you take my point ".
They stopped by a farm and Adam was amazed that this farmer would need Robin's help; he had a field full of crops. Robin explained that the farmer had hurt his back and would not be able to make harvest.
"I can empathise, all this jumping out on people is no good for my knees" Adam responded.
When they arrived Adam offered to help with the harvest. The farmer gladly accepted, "I can put you up and feed you while we work". He looked Adam up and down before adding, "I'm sure we'll have some appropriate attire for you to wear. With a few minor adjustments they should fit".
Adam headed into the farmhouse to change and stepped out as Farmer Gonk.
It was a fair exchange, his labour for a percentage of the profit. He had the choice, proceeds or produce. As it would have meant waiting for the farmer to return from market, Adam settled on produce.
He loaded a cart until it was full and once done the farmer thanked him again for all his help. Adam had learnt to value the appreciation others showed him for his help, but he also knew that the cart of crops held more value in this world. Adam headed for market.
At market Adam achieved fair value for his crops. He decided to browse the local high street and saw an opportunity in a window. The day was near its end, and so was the season. It was colder now and the idea of working indoors appealed to him. He did wonder though, what does a 'building and loan' do?
Adam purchased the finest suit he could afford and wore it to interview.
It was explained that Adam would be responsible for counting gold coins and deciding who should be able to borrow some coins on agreement of interest.
The manager, a Mr E. Scrooge, was impressed by Adam's suit and offered him the position to join the family business. Adam accepted and so he became Scrooge Gonk.
Adam worked his way down the list, flipping pages back and forth, analysing past payments and present debt. He had taught himself to view the numbers, and the individuals, as purely data.
"Too many have failed to pay this month" he uttered through gritted teeth.
He didn't hear the choir sing their Christmas chorus, nor the laughter and chatter from the pebbled street outside the door.
He had become bitter, caught in a loop of imaginings- of compounding his interest.
That night he sat exhausted at the end of his bed. He knew he was no longer enjoying his experience and he questioned it all. For a moment he thought about his future and making a change but quickly the loop returned; What about my bills? My money? My interest? he thought. He was lost again, deep inside his bitterness. He was not able to foresee a different future for himself, and so did not take action to change it.
Adam took physical comfort from the warmth of his bed and drifted off to sleep.
He was one Sleepy Gonk.
Adam was startled by a bang and sprung up from his slumber. He hurried to the source of the sound - noting it was emanating from the room where he kept his savings.
"I am Santa Claus, and I'm stuck - Help me down!" shouted Santa.
Adam got him down and discovered a swollen ankle. "You will need to rest Mr Claus, but not here. I must ask that you hobble out of here as I have work tomorrow" explained Adam.
Santa smiled and said, "Did you not see the mask I brought you for Christmas? I picked it up from a few people on my naughty list". He continued, "Adam, you have done many good things over the last year, and have seen some difficult times. You have made it to this place for a reason, you have a destiny. Your character exhibits your value so you must break from the pit of sorrow you find yourself in".
Santa saw that he was not getting through. He shook his head and hopped over to the window. He lifted the pane and shouted up, "Eve, Eve! - George! - One of you come down here! I'm in flat B - I've done my ankle!".
Santa addressed Adam again, "I'll leave you to it. I thought you were to be a helper this year, but I must have got it wrong. Keep the mask, and Merry Christmas".
Adam took the mask and ran his fingers across the textures. "You know, a lot has changed since then. I wish I could help you sir but..." Adam stopped talking the moment she entered the room.
"Come on Santa, lets get going. Millions of homes... One night... remember?" asked Eve.
Santa attempted to hobble over to her when he fell to the floor. Adam and Eve rushed over. "You'll have to help Adam, just for tonight. You have to help Eve and George by being Santa", said Santa.
Adam turned to Eve who smiled. That was all it took to break the spell. Adam could see a future, at least the night, before him. A night with Eve was in his making if he just played along.
Adam changed into Santa's outfit and bid him farewell. Adam and Eve made their way to the roof, "Just be yourself and stay positive. I'll drive, this will be fun!" shouted Eve.
Adam stepped out onto the roof and felt the freedom which came with accepting change. He met George the Elf and the reindeer. Finally, smiling at Eve, he knew that his future was set to be a wonderful adventure.
As they flew into the night sky, Adam took the reins, and in that moment he became Santa Gonk.
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